A Bad Idea and a Worse Execution
by Massani
Summary: Ryan closed his eyes. "Please tell me this isn't about Victoire."


**Written for the Quidditch League Fanfiction Competition  
** **Position:** Beater 2 for Holyhead Harpies **  
** **Prompts:  
** S.S. Wolfish Beauty (Teddy Lupin/Victoire Weasley)  
6\. (setting) Hogwarts Express  
 **Word Count:** 1,365

 **Thanks to Lizzie for beta'ing!**

* * *

"This is never going to work," Ryan said.

"Shut up." Teddy wrinkled his forehead. "It'll be fine. I just need to concentrate."

"Really?" Ryan tugged at his Hufflepuff scarf. "You're trying to change every aspect of your appearance to look like bloody Geoff Goyle, and you think it'll be fine as long as you concentrate?"

"Well, yeah. I'm a metamorphagus." Teddy squinted his eyes as he tried to remember what Geoff's nose looked like. "If I focus, I can look like anyone."

"And what if you _lose_ your focus?" Ryan tugged his scarf again. "What if you get angry or something?"

"I can stay calm." Teddy turned his hair a dull brown. "I just need to keep a cool head."

Ryan crossed his arms and looked out the window of the Hogwarts Express. They'd only pulled out of Hogsmeade about twenty minutes ago, but apparently, that was all the time Teddy needed to come up with another insane plan. "Even if you manage to look like Geoff—not that anyone in their right mind would want to look like Geoff—what's your endgame?"

"Isn't it obvious?"

Ryan closed his eyes. "Please tell me this isn't about Victoire."

"It's about Victoire." Teddy scrunched his nose until it morphed into something that vaguely resembled Geoff's. "You know she has a crush on him. Everyone knows."

"So your plan is to pretend to be Geoff, and then . . . what? Waltz over and say 'Hey Victoire, you're looking great today. Let's make out?'"

Teddy at Ryan, a sheepish smile on his lips.

Ryan groaned. " _Please_ tell me that isn't your actual plan, Teddy."

"It's is a bit more complex than that, but yes, that's the gist of it. What color are Geoff's eyebrows?"

Ryan shrugged. "Same as his hair, I reckon. I've never looked too closely at Geoff's face."

"Hm." Teddy wiggled his eyebrows through an array of colors.

Ryan braced his elbow against the train's window. "So you're really just going to find Victoire's compartment and talk to her."

"Yeah."

"Disguised as Geoff Goyle."

"Yes."

"And if the actual Geoff happens to walk in. . . ?"

Teddy was experimenting with the size of his jaw. "I have something in mind to take care of that."

"And?"

Teddy grinned. Realization dawned on Ryan's face.

"Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no."

"I know you've got a flask of sleeping potion in your trunk."

"I'm an insomniac! I need that for myself."

"You can spare a drop or two for Geoff, can't you?"

" _No,_ Lupin."

"We'll just lure him into this compartment, offer him a drink. . . ."

"Have you seen him?" Ryan was wringing his hands. "He's huge! He could literally rip me in half!"

"We take his robes so I look like him. . . ."

Ryan stood up and started to walk out of the compartment.

"Ryan, wait!" Teddy's appearance slipped back into its natural state as he grabbed Ryan's arm. "Please. I need your help. This is _important._ "

Ryan took a deep breath and then swallowed. "The things I do for you," he said as he sat back down across from Teddy.

Teddy grinned. "I love you, mate."

Ryan rolled his eyes. "You owe me."

Teddy walked through the crowded aisle, nervously adjusting his stolen robes. Ryan hadn't been lying when he said Geoff was big—Teddy was finding it difficult to use his new long limbs.

Victoire's compartment was the last one on the train. With a deep breath, Teddy opened the door. "Erm. Excuse me?" His own voice was higher-pitched than Geoff's, so he tried his best to talk in a low voice.

She was sitting in the seat farthest from the door, but when he walked in she rose and moved toward him. Her face spread into a smile he'd never seen before—she looked genuinely thrilled to see him. His heart leapt for a moment before he realised she thought he was Geoff.

"Geoff!" She tossed her shimmering hair over one shoulder. "I haven't seen you at all since exams!"

"Yeah." He cleared his throat and tried to make his voice as deep as possible. "I, erm, I was busy packing."

"Well, sit down." She spread her arms and gestured at the empty compartment. "I'm a bit lonely. It's nice to have company."

Teddy sat, struggling to keep a dopey grin off his face. "It's not like you to be alone. Where's your fan club?"

Victoire smirked. "Fan club?"

"You know. That group of people constantly following you around."

Victoire shook her head. "They're my friends. I don't have a fan club."

"That's a shame." Teddy's heart was racing. "I rather fancied becoming a member."

Victoire looked at him for a few seconds before bursting out laughing. "That is quite possibly the corniest thing anyone has ever said to me." She looked up at him and her smile faded slightly. "Why the change of heart?"

Teddy tried to stay calm. _She was laughing at something he'd said!_ "What do you mean?"

She began to twist her hands in her lap. "At Christmas, I told you about my, erm, feelings for you, and you said you weren't interested. Remember?"

"Ah, yes. That." Teddy's mind was racing. He'd had no idea that Victoire had confessed her feelings to Geoff. It was taking a superhuman effort to keep this appearance up. "I changed my mind."

"You changed your mind?"

"Yeah." Teddy cleared his throat. "It's been known to happen."

"I guess." Victoire leaned back and narrowed her eyes at him. It didn't take a genius to see that she was far from convinced.

"You don't believe me?"

She looked at him for so long that Teddy was worried his disguise had failed. "Not really."

"Let me convince you."

She raised an eyebrow. "I'm listening."

Teddy leaned over and kissed her.

The moment seemed to last forever, and yet it was also over too soon. A million thoughts raced through his head, but as Victoire pressed closer to him, all he could focus on was her heartbeat against his chest, her eyelashes tickling his cheek, her arms on his shoulders. . . .

She pulled away and looked at the floor, cheeks flushed red as she smiled. "That was just like I'd imagined it would be." She raised her eyes, and immediately her expression changed. "Merlin! Teddy?"

Teddy leapt up and felt his face. Gone were the defined cheekbones and chiseled jawline; he was back in his own appearance.

"Victoire. Erm. Okay. I have a very reasonable explanation." Teddy backed slowly to the door as Victoire advanced on him with a fire burning in her eyes.

"I am going to kill you."

"Now, that seems like an overreaction." Teddy nervously laughed as he reached the doors. He feigned shock and pointed behind Victoire, letting out a scream. As she turned to see what had frightened him, he opened the door and dashed out of the car.

"Teddy Lupin!"

He could hear her shouting after him but he didn't look back. He just kept running while nimbly dodging out of the way of the various people on the train. He finally reached his own compartment and hurtled through the door, pressing his back against it. "Ryan." He was panting as he sank into a seat. "Ryan, I did it! I snogged—"

A loud snore cut him off. Teddy turned to see a very large and very naked Geoff asleep beside him. Teddy froze and stared at him.

"Shh," said Ryan at a normal volume from the seat across from Teddy. "Don't want to wake the baby."

Teddy swallowed. "What're we going to do when he wakes up?"

"Dunno. Isn't that part of your brilliant plan?"

The train came to a sudden halt, and Geoff flew out of his seat and onto Teddy.

Teddy cursed his luck for about the twentieth time in the last five minutes as he tried and failed to move Geoff.

Ryan exploded with laughter. "He's not going to be happy when he wakes up naked on top of a man."

Teddy let out a grunt as he tried to roll Geoff onto the floor. "Worth it, though," Teddy said with a grin as he remembered the feeling of Victoire's lips against his own.


End file.
